My whereabouts are extensive on a daily basis in Pune, meaning I frequently find myself dependent on the local transportation system due to the fact that I have yet to obtain the proper paperwork to buy a car. This dependency has produced an array of emotions in me along with providing memorable experiences, most of which leave a sour taste in my mouth. The transportation I speak of is the auto rickshaw, the 3-wheeler “taxi” of India. You can see them all over the background of this blog. They are enjoyable to ride in…for a week, then this short-lived honeymoon period vanishes and you start viewing the auto drivers as the enemy. They’re the enemy because they cheat you out of your precious rupees. When these guys see your white skin approaching, their hearts rejoice and their minds race with schemes to milk your assumed naïve foreigner nature combined with your fat American wallet. I’ll explain. Now standard procedure in the city is that they charge you “meter”. You get in, they start the meter, and when you arrive at requested destination, you pay the amount on the meter. Very simple. A ride across the whole city will cost you around 150 rupees and take 40 minutes. So when I come before an auto driver and ask him to take me to a place 10 minutes away, you can imagine the annoyance generated when they announce a charge of 120 rupees. Absurd, only a tourist would pay this amount. Do I look like a tourist to you?!? Rocking my Polo Outlet collared shirt and above-the-knees Champs khaki shorts from Stein Mart amidst a pants wearing culture?? I just don’t see what they see.…no I’m kidding, the deck is stacked against me and I’m well aware of it. It’s the price you pay when you have nice calves and are therefore obligated to put a lamp on it’s stand.
Now don’t get me wrong, not every auto driver is like this. There are handfuls of honest “meter” auto drivers and these guys are super refreshing. However, with the kind of city traveling I do, there’s just no way to avoid all the schemers out there. My only hope is to minimize the tourist factor and persuade him to give me the “proper localite price.” I will share with you what I have found to be the most effective ways to achieve localization of rickshaw pricing. (1) Speak as much of the local language as you possibly can on the front end. And if you have to use English, smother it with your best Indian accent. Everything should be complimented with an animated yet controlled head bob, which takes time to develop, it's an art and requires skill. Words I know and therefore try to throw in always: (spelling will be wrong b/c I don’t feel like googling right now as is customary when I have spelling inquiries) accha (good) bhaya (brother) nahi (no) ap kha naam ke ha hey (what is your name?) mera naam (my name is) pani (water). Even if it makes no sense I am making sure to say most of these words so that they understand that I am serious and have been here for a while. Usually when I take this approach the majority of auto drivers pick up real quick what I’m putting down. (2) Secondly, the walk away strategy, a highly effective bargaining weapon useful in all facets of life here in India. When he gives me the bogus price, I stare him down for a couple seconds, angrily shout “nahi” and walk away. I try to make this reaction a very fast one in order to startle him and put him into a corner. If he wants any rupees at all, which he does, he will yell after me and declare his acceptance of my meter appeal. Ahh the sweet smell of victory. Using these two tactics, I have been able to hit homer after homer when I step up to the plate each day. Call me Derek Meter. But there are those times when I find myself stuck in a rando place with literally no rickshaws anywhere to be found. In this case if a rickshaw miraculously drives by, I have to accept his price if I want to find my way home. It’s simple economics, demand is high and supply is low..causing the price to skyrocket. And he knows this. Even with the sexiest head bob India has seen in a quick minute, I ain’t winning this battle.
The funny thing about all of this too is that I’m usually arguing for a driver to lower his price like 20 or 30 rupees, which is no more than a $0.50 difference. So money isn’t really the issue, it's just the principal of getting ripped off. I’m being pretty ridiculous huh? Oh well, it makes it more enjoyable to interact with these auto drivers. I’ll finish with saying that rickshaws aren’t all bad news, there are some positives from using them as your means of transportation. They are smaller vehicles that are able to squeeze through tight places during a traffic jam which gets you to your destination quicker. And they are also a breeding ground for real talk…spend a 30 minute rickshaw ride with someone and you’ll walk away with some great convo, guaranteed.
Auto rickshaw drivers..can’t live with em, can’t live without em..and speaking of women, I have yet to run into a woman auto driver. I don’t think it exists, but if she’s out there, I would like to meter..
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